Assertive Ability Based on Gender Differences

Students of Tahfidz Quran Middle School Pontianak, West Kalimantan

Hastiani¹, Amelia Atika², Ema Sukma Wati³

Faculty of Education and Social Sciences Guidance and Counseling study program, IKIP PGRI Pontianak

Email: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]

Keywords

Abstract

assertiveness, boarding school, self-confidence, and bullyingIntroduction

Islamic-based secondary schools, with a boarding school education concept, aim to train children to deepen their knowledge of religion. In reality, boarding schools are the trigger for widespread cases of bullying. Busy activities at school and continued rote activities in the dormitory create boredom and pressure for students. This becomes a stimulus for emotional explosions for students and female students. This research aims to describe the findings of the assertive level abilities of santriwan and santriwati based on gender differences, because life in the dormitory is led by ustad and ustadzah with different characters. Apart from that, it describes an understanding of the form of an assertive attitude and reflects the feelings of santri and female students in being assertive. The mix method research method includes qualitative and quantitative. Qualitative descriptive data analysis activities include collecting data in in-depth interviews, observation and assertive scales, reflecting on experiences and at the same time training students. The research subjects were 80 people consisting of 2 classes, namely class VII and VIII with a gender division of 37 santri and 43 santriwati. The researcher carried out data triangulation, both time, place and data until the data was saturated to process the interview data. Research findings show that students are more able to be assertive by avoiding situations they don't like, refusing with the word "don't want to", because they are afraid of the rules and being angry with the ustad. female students have a weak assertive ability to refuse, because they are embarrassed and feel loyal to their friendship group, but some of the female students are very firm in refusing and reporting threatening and unpleasant situations to the ustadzah. In conclusion, a form of assertive training is needed for self-strength and self-confidence for students and female students to avoid bullying.

ï¿½ 2024 by the authors. Submitted ï¿½for possible open access publication ï¿½under the terms and conditions of the Creative Commons Attribution (CC BY SA) license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/).

1. Introduction

Islamic-based education provides dormitories as living facilities for both santriwan and female students. Middle school age is the age of early adolescent development, when students' emotional conditions are still unstable. Middle school is a transition to adapt to new environments and friends so that teenagers will easily form friendship groups. In this phase of emotional development, teenagers tend to follow friends' invitations, because in this phase, teenagers find it difficult to make firm decisions (Blunden, 2021). Feelings of fear if there are no friends, or not getting recognition in the social environment. So, in this phase, teenagers need strengthening to train self-assertiveness, so they are able to reject friends' invitations that don't suit their conscience.

At the early adolescent development stage in junior high school, emotional characteristics and imbalance in various aspects of life, because at this time adolescents discover new things. Emotional changes are also caused by a struggle to find one's identity, making one vulnerable to an identity crisis. The concept of adolescence covers the biological, psychological and social domains, early adolescents when they want to be accepted into a group of friends, are recognized as having become teenagers and want to exist with their friends. Therefore, early teens are exposed to cases both at school and in cyberspace through social media, sharing chats, photos and videos, etc. (Berk, n.d.; Saracho, 2023). Due to this condition, assertive behavior is needed so that teenagers have the courage to make decisions, choose appropriate friends to hang out with. Have the ability to express opinions, dare to ask questions and refuse, and dare to validate the information received according to valid facts and data. Adolescence is also a crucial period for the development of assertive attitudes. This is an important social skill that improves personal well-being (Akbar, 2019; Maqbool Parray et al., 2020).

Tahfizul Quran Middle School carries out the Tahfids Quran education program and regular education, has a student and female student dormitory. The educational pattern for female students and female students received in the dormitory is to discipline themselves and strengthen their independence. At school, they generally study with regular students, the number of students is not large, from class VII to class IX. The implementation of the education curriculum in schools applies the Merdeka curriculum specifically for class VII students and the 2013 curriculum for students in class VIII and IX. The parenting style in the dormitory by ustad and ustadzah, has a different influence on the development of assertive santriwan and santriwati. Education is the main focus in developing the character of Santri because education is about the transfer of knowledge and is horizontal in the formation of morals and morals through character formation. (Marthunis & Authar, 2017; Muali et al., 2021; Yaqin, 2020).

Life in the dormitory is a learning process to strengthen assertive behavior, but in reality students do not yet understand assertive behavior. When interviews were conducted with students at a meeting to socialize the importance of assertive behavior in school, the students still answered that angry people are the same as assertive people. Strict people have many rules and are fussy, which results in students' behavioral responses. When one of the students told his experience of being strict, at night there was an invitation from a friend to disturb a friend who was sleeping, but the student didn't want to because he was afraid of being angry. The behavior shown is going out of the room, leaving the students who invited them. Even though there are some who are able to behave assertively in certain situations, students do not yet understand that what they are displaying is assertive behavior.

Researchers conducting interviews with guidance and counseling teachers revealed that students were slow to respond to questions, answering even if there was an opportunity to recite the Koran in front of the class, students found it very difficult to decide whether they would dare to appear or not. Pointing at each other's friends, smiling and laughing, if you speak in a low tone you are still shy. Assertive behavior plays a role in students making decisions, having the courage to answer and convey ideas and insights. The results of the interview explain that students have not optimized their assertive abilities. Female students find it very difficult to behave assertively, prioritizing smiling as a form of shyness.

Assertive behavior can be trained in everyday life to help individuals express anger or annoyance. Individuals who have assertiveness show politeness and allow others to take advantage of them. Assertive behavior provides courage in saying no, refusing and avoiding. Individuals will feel that they have space to express opinions and thoughts (Rahmania et al., 2023; Wijayanti & Nusantoro, 2022). There needs to be a habit of implementing assertive behavior, assertive individuals have the ability to express themselves directly and honestly in interpersonal situations without ignoring the rights and dignity of other people. Adolescents who have low assertive abilities tend to follow their peers without daring to make their own decisions. In the end, teenagers are often brought into the condition of being victims of bullying, becoming perpetrators of bullying, this is the impact of low assertive abilities (Hamzah et al., 2023; Wahyu & Muslikah, 2019). Assertive behavior is the behavior of communicating feelings directly and sincerely without needing to abuse the rights of individuals and other people. In addition, assertiveness is non-partisan behavior that maintains the qualities of transparency, authenticity, and mutual respect for the individual rights and freedoms of others (Rofiki et al., 2022; Sudha, 2019).

Gender differences affect the assertive abilities of students, this condition is influenced by differences in the parenting patterns of ustad and ustadzah. Assertive behavior in adolescents is a life skill that has an important role covering cognitive and behavioral aspects. Santri in their early teens have difficulty being assertive and even have minimal understanding of being assertive. This condition illustrates that each person has a different level of assertive behavior in responding to the stimulus that comes, whether in the form of behavior, gesture or verbal. Differences in assertiveness are also influenced by parenting patterns and cultural factors (Alfariza & Andjarsari, 2023; Asysyura & Rizal, 2020; Husnah et al., 2022) . Boys tend to behave assertively easily because they are more active, independent and cooperative, whereas young women find it difficult to behave assertively, because they passively tend to follow the wishes of their friends in the group. Events resulting from observations and interviews at Tahfid Quran Islamic Middle School explain that female students are able to behave more assertively than female students. Students who have good assertive behavior tend to be expressive in expressing their feelings without hurting or harming other parties, when they are in a situation that is unfavorable to them, and the possibility of following prohibited things is minimal

2. Materials and Methods

This research uses a quantitative research approach to measure the level of assertive abilities of students based on gender using a 35-item assertive scale. The aspects of assertive behavior used are 1) acting on one's own wishes, 2) being able to express honest feelings sincerely, 3) the ability to defend oneself, 4) the ability to promote equality in human relations and 5) not ignoring the rights of others. The answer pattern provided uses a Likert scale, consisting of positive (+) and negative (-) items. Each closed statement item for which answers have been provided includes very suitable (SS), suitable (S), not suitable (TS), very unsuitable (STS). Meanwhile, a qualitative approach was used to explore in more detail the role of guidance and counseling teachers in training students' assertive behavior, and interpreting the results of interviews with guidance and counseling teachers. Interviews were also given to representatives of female students and female students. Observation is used to collect data on visible behavior, gestures and expressions given by students. Apart from that, researchers also carried out story telling to explore the experiences of being assertive among santriwan and santriwati. The research subjects for students in grades VII, VIII and IX were 80 people, because the research subjects were under 100 people, so this research was a population study.

Kajian Teori

Perundungan di perkenalkan pertama kali oleh Olweus pada tahun 1973 yang sering disebut dengan bullying. Bullying digambarkan sebagai bentuk perilaku agresif, yaitu tindakan kejahatan atau membuat individu merasa tidak berdaya. Perilaku ini dilakukan secara terus menerus, dan dengan sengaja (Wulansari et al., 2023). Perundungan adalah situasi dimana terjadi penyalah gunaan kekuasaan yang dilakukan oleh seseorang atau sekelompok orang kepada pihak lain (Ariska & Sukmayadi, 2019).

3. Results and Discussions

The condition of students' ability levels in assertive behavior based on gender is shown in table 1 below

Gender	Average Score	F	Category
Male	99,50	37	Currently
Women	90,55	43	Currently
Total		80

From the data in table 2, it can be observed that students have the ability for assertive behavior in the medium category, but students tend to have high average achievement. This condition is in line with the results of the story telling that from experience the students dare to be firm, even though they seem quiet. not active verbally but able to act in silence, for example quietly leaving situations and conditions that invite him to disturb his sleeping friends. Meanwhile, female students have moderate assertive behavior abilities, and are weak below female students. This condition is in accordance with the story of one of the female students who once said that she was hesitant in making decisions to be firm, passive in making decisions, waiting for friends, and accompanied by feelings of discomfort when rejecting friends' invitations because they felt familiar. On the other hand, female students are hesitant to take a firm stance because they are afraid of being excluded from their friendship group. The peer environment also has an influence on students' assertive abilities, because students spend more time with peers at school and in the dormitory. So, this condition becomes an opportunity for students to follow what friends say rather than think rationally and make decisions independently. The conclusion is that there are differences in the ability to be assertive between santriwan and santriwati, but these differences are not significant. Being assertive is influenced by many factors in its development. Assertive behavior can be trained which is called assertive training. The family also plays an important role in forming assertive behavior among students, therefore the school urges parents to work together to realize assertive training from simple training in everyday life. Because, the students are looked after by ustad and ustadzah who are committed to implementing the school rules, namely making students independent in being assertive without favoritism so that the difference in students' assertive behavior is not too significant.

4. Conclusion

Education at a boarding school provides an opportunity for students to exercise independence, learn to make decisions objectively, and learn to interact with peers who come from very different backgrounds. regular education time in the morning which is busy following the independent curriculum, and continues with activities in the dormitory to memorize the Koran and morjah. This condition makes students have strong stressors, and focused assistance is needed for the optimal development of students and female students. There is no significant difference in the assertive abilities of santriwan and female students. Although on average students have higher assertive abilities. Support for assertive abilities has emerged but is not yet optimal, one of which is due to the commitment of ustad and ustadzah in providing assertive training in daily life in the dormitory.

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